So I just sat down to my quiet time. Fenley is asleep. Walt is working and I was/am giddy about sitting down to seek my Saviors face and get to know Him more and more. Oh how I love the intimacy He has created here. Unlike anything else I have ever experienced.
And as I was reading through psalm 90 - which is absolutely beautiful, He is SUCH a Holy Holy Holy God that we should be filled with love and trembling respect at the thought of Him - He popped a verse in my head about when Jesus said "I'm going to prepare a place for you." And I couldn't think of the scripture reference. And I literally just flipped to the New Testament and there the verse was... In John 14. He. Is. So. Cool. I actually almost googled the verse to find the reference. But instead asked Him to reveal it to me. Y'all. Marvelous. Way better than Google. Here's the verse...
"Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Fathers home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you so that you will always be with me where I am."
The Creator of this beautiful earth has prepared a place for me. Soaking that up right now. He cares enough to actually have a home waiting for me in His Kingdom. Not only is He perfectly Holy. He is also perfectly and intimately concerned with where I am. Where we are. He cares. And because of Jesus I can come to His throne BOLDLY and EXPECTANTLY.
He doesn't care a little. He cares a LOT. And that right there we can take to the bank. I have lived - like so many other people I know, too - like He cares a little. Sure, He wants to help me pick my mate, give us the right kids, find us our jobs, etc... but He wants us to live here being more at home with Him than with anyone or anything else. Wow. He is our home here. And it's just a shadow of our real home to come in Heaven.
A little further along in the same chapter...
"Just believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me. Or at least believe because of the work you have seen me do."
I can hear Him saying that directly to me: Just believe me, Lauren. And if you're struggling with just simply believing, at least believe because of the marvelous things I have done in your life.
Yes, Jesus. I muster every ounce of my heart and just sit in belief.
Speaking of "the work I have seen Him do"...
Asked Him simply if marvelous still counts now that Wills is gone. Within hours He confirmed that marvelous is still a pillar for us here on earth. And has given the word marvelous again and again since...
Walt lost a bible a year or two ago. Found it on December 11th. Opened the front page, was given to him on December 11th 9 years earlier :)
Fenley is finally potty trained - straight up miracle! Best birthday present ever! And she's my hero too. Our bond is legit and I am so thankful for her rich life.
Prayed about quitting writing. He answered it within minutes literally to keep telling my special story with Him.
Prayer wanting to find something "new" of Wills'... Next day Fenley brought one of his pacifiers to me that she had found under our couch :) felt like a punch in the gut but then I dissolved into the sweetest tears thanking Him for that paci popping up randomly.
Getting to share our marvelous story live with Pinelake Madison family soon.
Prayed for snow this winter - have gotten it twice - both times while in my birthday week and last week of my 20s! When it snows I feel so close to Wills.
God is providing for us financially so perfectly...story would make your head spin. Will share one day I hope.
Just to name a few. If I boast about anything, it's what Jesus has done in us and for us. And I will brag on Him for eternity...we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. Revelation 12:11. And yes I googled that scripture reference :) haha.
Want to just believe Him. I'm that wayward heart that He has had to prove who He is through His pursuit of me. I believe, Lord! You are worthy of all respect and belief I have to offer! And I hope and pray and know that anyone who comes sincerely seeking You will be rewarded with the BEST thing - You. "It is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to Him must believe that God exists and that He rewards those who sincerely seek Him." Hebrews 11:6... Amen :)
PS - This is my last post in my 20s. Pray for my 30th year? Thank you in advance :) He is listening.