Scoreboard

Back in Wills' room tonight...listening to Fenley and Walt watch Arthur Christmas. Cutest Christmas movie ever in my opinion. 

Finally have addressed our birth announcements that we ran out of :) yikes! So if you don't get a birth announcement, you'll be getting a Christmas card! Daddy Bowie has me on a budget and I don't blame him - I have yet to work a full time job since we got married - another yikes! I have a degree in French. Not French plus Business or Education. Just French. My dad said get a degree... I said how can I avoid Business Calculus and dissecting anything in a science class? So French it was. I love the language and culture... Went to Paris in high school :) it was dreamy. 

Back to jobs - or the lack thereof... I was actually baking from home when we found out we were pregnant with Wills. French Macarons were my specialty. They're deliciously sweet and pretty particular little French pastries. I was obsessed with them. And the week I got morning sickness with Wills was the same week I had to do 50 dozen - yes, 600 - for a wedding. It put me over the edge with throwing up. I literally couldn't talk about them without gagging. I'm not exaggerating... Ask anyone that knows me or tried to place an order. Apparently Wills didn't care for French Macarons :) 

I'm actually thankful because it sent me back home with Fenley 100% and I really got some quality time with her. Who knows what will come next... Part of me wants to try my hand at baking again. Another part of me wants to go to work raising money for something that pulls on my heart strings. And another huge chunk of my heart wants to stay at home with Fenley until she starts preschool. Nice taking a deep mental breath knowing God's agenda is marvelous and that I can trust it. Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus! 

If I do try baking again... A few friends have mentioned I could name my business "Marvelous Macarons" :) quite a thought. I'll have to blog about my first attempt back at my macarons. It's going to be a pretty emotional batch for me if I had to guess...

So we got to share our testimony with our church family last Sunday. It was awesome. I'm a pretty shy person - believe it or not! - and was nervous about being recorded but if God opened the door to share about His faithfulness...how could we resist? :) so we shared. And have gotten so many messages, calls and texts about how God has used it to draw people closer to Him. A few words come to mind... Amazing. Exciting. Thrilling. Chill bumps. Happy tears. Smile inducing. Jaw dropping. God glorifying. Just marvelous, really, hearing people share how God has used our son in their hearts.  

I love that we got to share in conjunction with Zechariah and Elizabeth's story of their son John the Baptist. Ya know the first words out of the angels mouth were... "Don't be afraid." Wow. Their son would never marry, never drink, live in the wilderness and die at a young age by being beheaded by a godless king. But they were told not to fear. The angel was bringing GOOD NEWS. How could that be good news??? 

Because Earth's scoreboard is wrong... 

Need I say more? Wills... Short life. Sick body. Never married. Never got to go to the prom and have me bug him about his first crush. Never rode the school bus. Never had his first car. Never got to go snow skiing or see the beach. Never got to have what we consider a normal life. 

But God brought us TRULY good news about our son too. A prayer warrior at Pinelake - that we still haven't met - got a word for us from The Lord after she heard about our story... One of the things she wrote to us was "Don't be afraid" :) Wow. How can we not be afraid? Because on Heaven's scoreboard, Wills had a perfectly full and purposeful life. Who wants "normal" here anyway? Been there, done that, and lived pure dissatisfaction. 

God has redefined "good" for us. Used to I would read psalm 84:11 "He withholds no GOOD thing" and I would think good meant for how I see my life playing out. But now I'm learning...good is Him. He is the good thing that He doesn't withhold. Wills had a very full life of the BEST One. Forget prom. Forget his first car. Forget his first crush and first day of school. He had God's perfectly gracious hand on his life. What more could I want? Seriously. Forget Earths scoreboard... Teach me more about what matters in the greatest reality: HEAVEN. Wills' short life has a lot of fruit. May that be the ultimate desire of my heart...to bear fruit for my Good King and Savior. Tearing up writing this...shocked at what God has done in my own life through this journey. I've never cared less about earthly things and I love it. Hello, true freedom :) it's so good to finally meet you. I actually talked my mom OUT of buying me a Kate Spade bag the other day. Yep, I'm a changed woman!

People ask if we are ready for more kids. And I say...I'm really proud of my two kids. We'll see if God calls us to shepherd a 3rd :) I hope if God calls us to a 3rd child, that I will be most concerned about the anointing on their heart than their percentiles at doctor check ups and milestones reached according to the latest study. Been there, done that. Empty. Thank You Lord for being the very best thing and for filling Wills' life to the brim. And for humbling me in the process. You're just so GOOD. 

Good night, sweet world :)

Lauren

A swaddled toddler. Seriously??? She insisted...

The rainbow the morning after Wills went to Heaven. Could see it end to end. Marvelous. 0% chance of rain that day. 

Walt and me, thanksgiving day after our half fried turkey :) love my manly man. 

Fenley let me rock her to sleep the other night. In Wills' room with his boppy. Hello, therapy. Happy happy night for me. She hasn't let me rock her in about 2 years. 

Ice skating with her daddy. She kept saying she was Tinkerbell :)

Will end with one of my favorites. Looks like a little smirk here :) my WLB.