New Normal

I have officially talked Walt into letting me decorate for Christmas before Thanksgiving. I must admit I am pretty excited about decorating and the approaching holidays... Walt has said he thinks this will be the first holiday we have ever REALLY celebrated. I agree. And we are doing things a little different this year with our little family. Starting some new traditions and intentionally savoring what Christmas is all about. I read an article the other day about removing Santa from Christmas and I went on a tangent to Walt about how we should eliminate Santa from Christmas and all these other lofty thoughts... And my simple country boy replies with, "We both grew up with Santa and we love Jesus." Well said, Bowie, well said. So needless to say, we are keeping Santa but will be worshiping Jesus :) and remembering Wills and relishing Fenley and each other.

Fenley has requested a mircophone, a unicorn and a sleeping bag. Really? She makes me laugh. 

So Friday is my postpartum check up. Bittersweet. I don't want to be finished with the physicality of having Wills. Confession: I've thought about calling to reschedule to buy myself another week of expecting one more appointment where Wills is the reason I am there. Just know if you see me in Kroger Friday afternoon, don't question the amount of cupcakes in my buggy. Just smile and wave... In all seriousness though, I do grieve the end of my appointments. I miss being pregnant with him and I am going to miss having appointments because of him. Prayers appreciated for Friday morning...

On a really uplifting note...some legit guys that Walt went to college with all went in together and blessed us tremendously. We went to dinner with one of them this week because he had something to give us but couldn't open it until we got home. Well, antsy pants me opened it the second we got in the car. Tears flowed the whole way home from both Walt and me. Inside was a gift card to The Alluvian for an overnight stay, with the romance package, a couples massage and dinner at Giardinas. I mean really. The cool thing is I turn 30 in January and I had been hoping to spend my 30th at The Alluvian before we got Wills' diagnosis and was trying to figure out how to budget for a getaway. When we found out Wills' condition all of that went on the back burner obviously. And look what God had in the works...thank you, legit guys, for splurging on this tired couple... We are so excited and more than ready for our getaway. Marvelous. 

Our new normal is constantly changing feels like. A few big changes. A few small ones. A few fun ones. A few not so fun. All in all, life feels like an adventure now. With God really calling all the shots and us asking for wisdom and perspective and endurance and joy. He knows our hearts better than we do. Who better to shepherd us? I told Jan Moncrief tonight I am having trouble finding words to describe where my heart is (which is rare for me!) but started thinking... who needs words when you have the Creator of the universe intimately acquainted with where you are? So again...I muster every ounce of faith I have and rest in Him. Glance at one picture of Wills Bowie and I'm reminded..."Oh yeah, just do now, in faith and trust. And keep your eyes peeled for marvelous."

We are having another NICU reunion Monday ("Hi, my name is Lauren Bowie and I am a Baptist Hospital stalker"). Taking them a chocolate cake. Apparently our favorite neonatologist likes chocolate :) I wish I could make sure he always has a chocolate cake at his disposal. Words aren't enough for that doctor. I know this isn't 100% true but I like to think it's somewhat true maybe...that God moved him here from Birmingham for us :) his heart certainly made us feel that way. I know Wills will be in his receiving line when he gets to Heaven. Hopefully with some form of Heavenly chocolate...

I'm thinking I've rambled enough for tonight :) good night...

Lauren